I tend to live my life as a candle, blowing in a lone window, on a lonely, night...the flame shining brightly, even in the darkest hour. Yet, I can be blown, fore and aft, and more often than not, I need guidance, by a "guardian angel", the source of my light to shine for me. Life seems to throw me into the fire, and I burn in the flames, come what may. Not often frightened, or cautious, throwing caution to the four winds, from north to south, and east to west.... hurricane gusts, and torrential downpours.... raining down havoc upon my being. 'Tis my own innate nature to stand and abide by those flames; for what do you say, or where do you go, when there is absolutely nothing you feel you hold in your own, minute power to fix anything? When everything seems to be up in the air, and all walls fall down around you, how do you repair the walls or even hold on to the foundations that shake beneath your feet? Faith is the only foundation left to stand upon, and even that seems like a dim light, somewhere lost in the universe. I am a soldier of faith that sustains me, yet still at times, I am shaken to the core by life, and the way it throws it own waves against those I love so much along with myself. We are never guaranteed a bed of roses, yet we hate lying in a bed of thorns. How to pick ourselves up out of the dead zone, is something we all deal with, on so many levels. And what if we are ready to experience another realm? What if life as we know it, is too much to deal with... too dark and dreary to face another morning.... are we to march on...as society deems..."righteous and moral". or to follow what destiny tells us? For some, too dark of a subject to deal with and for too many of us, a subject we deal with on a daily basis. Too many times we are afraid to think about, and much less talk about the "dark side" that we all at one time or another deal with. No one is beyond "evil".... for that is what makes us "human". Yet, there are those that "preach" about distaining from "evil".... yet without evil how would we even be able to tell "goodness" exists? All are born to know "right from wrong"...that is a given fact.... we rally around what makes us "feel" good, then we run like hell from what makes us feel badly. In running, that deems us often as "CHICKEN"...by others.... Which makes me ask, what "deems" us as "strong"? Life throws us a "jar of slop" and are we supposed to stand and smile, as we are being "beaten and bruised"? Hell of all people, I contend to be a "pillar" of strength, and a pile of weakness all wrapped into one soul. A woman of many facets...just as a diamond in the raw, being cut to a fine brilliance. Those "cuts" are wounds of my own heart; wounds from "life"...how else could I love so deeply, and know the wisdom that surrounds me? If you look into the midnight skies, you shall witness my pale shadow, which haunts you.... like the call of a night bird. I laugh till I hurt, and cry till the tears stain my face. I can shout to the world about this love that I profess, and then slide down the mountain like an avalanche atop the highest peak...till I feel I cannot even catch my breath.... then I shall crawl back up again.... weeping with every star... that glows on a spring night. That is life and living.... to feel too much, to love to hard, to live till the last breath...and know that every pain, every glory is worth the risk.
And here I stand...a small pebble upon a huge rock.... if I am skipped upon the waters, will you even notice the ripple I make??????
Copyright © 2006 Rhia Steele 03/16/2006Send us your comments on this article