Other Poems by:

Daniel Irwin

Wild-Eyed Slim

I was just your typical
Mormon hippie
Travelin' from Alabama
To Mississippi,
When I spied
A lone hitch-hiker
Along the road.
Stopping to offer
Him a ride,
I said, "Hop on in,
The name is Clyde,"
From there begins
A tale seldom told.
I took to callin' him 'Slim'.
Nary a word came from him.
All he'd ever do was grunt and fart.
He had a big kaleidoscope eye,
Ears big enough he could fly,
And that thing on his head
What beat just like a heart.
He appeared like a cat
Who could use a smoke,
So I fired up some Hawaiian
And gave him a toke.
Slim turned so purple,
I thought he was gonna die.
Lord knows I do a lota smoke,
Sometimes so much
I lose all hope.
But, I never got the munchies
Like ol' Slim.
He took a great big bite
Right outta my dash,
Ate my rear view mirror
And some loose cash.
At a stop sign,
He ate a tire down to the rim.
When he licked my boot,
I'd had enough.
And, I knew it might
Make Slim's life rough.
But it was suddenly
Time for him to go.
I put Slim out on a desolate route
He waved 'bye-bye'
With a saddened pout.
Then came the climax
Of this freaky show.
For from way up high
A saucer came
And picked up Slim
Who had no name.
Man, that shit really
Blew my brain. 

Now if your ever
Travelin' to Mississippi
And you meet a
Wild-eyed freaky-lookin' hippie,
Give the boy a ride
With compliments of Clyde,
But your dope
You better hide.       

-- Daniel S. Irwin
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