Other Poems by:

Brian Fugett

THE BUTCHER ON THIRD & VINE

The butcher on Third & Vine
is a self-proclaimed
neo-nazi skinhead
who slaughters his cattle
with an old rusty blade
then collects their ears
in a mason jar
that is stashed
beneath his bed.
He stands 6'3"
thick neck
broad shoulders
& has 22 tattoos,
each depicting
dead farm animals
in various degrees of decay.

Old Mr. Cohen,
stoop shouldered & skinny,
shuffles into the shop,
painstakingly propelled 
by his hickory cane.
He greets the butcher
with a friendly tip of his hat.

"I am the Bovine Van Gogh," 
the butcher brags, smearing blood 
stained hands across his apron. "What 
can I get for you today, Mr. Cohen?"

Mr. Cohen cracks a nervous 
grin & gestures at the hard salami. 
"I'll take a pound of that," he says.

The butcher wraps & weighs
the meat, pushes it gently 
across the counter, 
then wedges a toothpick
between his teeth.
"That will be a buck 
& a quarter," he says, gazing lustfully
at the old man's enormous set of ears.  

NOCTURNAL COUGH SYRUP CRUSADE

Friday night
a quarter past twelve
found myself
huddled on the couch
knees drawn to chest
washing down 
a mouthful of
diazepam, phenobarbital
& several other anticonvulsants 
with a bottle of 
prescription strength 
cough syrup
while I watched 
the sleeves of Uncle John's
snake-skin leather jacket
slither across 
the living room floor
as it methodically gathered 
bits of lint 
& scraps of paper
for the nest
it was building 
behind the refrigerator.

SATURDAY MORNING CARTOONS

The living room
is blaring
with the clamor
of Saturday morning
cartoons.

I'm hunched
on the couch
gorging myself
with Froot Loops
while my brother
is in the corner
working over
grandma's poodle
with his latest
Ninja Turtle
techniques.

"I can't believe
John Denver is dead,"
Grandma sobs
as she performs
her slow-motion rendition
of the Mime-Christ,
head cocked sideways,
palms extended
to the sky
in mock crucifixion.

Grandpa sinks deeper
into his armchair
& knocks back
another shot
of vodka
as he strains 
to stay focused
on the TV.

BIO:

Brian Fugett is a member of the slacker, fast food generation that has been branded with an "X". He sits in his pad all day consuming more oxygen than he's worth. He's been doing it for nearly 33 years now & has become quite efficient at it. Eating & voiding are the only things he really knows how to do. Between meals & trips to the shitter, he writes. Rumor has it, Homeland Security claims he's been incarcerated numerous times for publicly milking West Nile Virus from the tits of pregnant mosquitoes. Therefore he was forced to seek refuge in the chilly bowels of Ohio to save his good name.Ask him about it at: brian@wentland.com & he will vehemently deny it. Some day he hopes to be president of the "International Society of Incontinent Gum Swallowers", a support group for people who compulsively swallow gum & piss themselves. Until that day arrives, he occupies his time with cartooning, writing, filmmaking & editing the webzine Zygote in my Coffee.

Send us your comments on this article
Google
Top rated wines under $20
buy legal herbal buds online from. www.herbal-smoke-shop.com
GV6 Now On Sale
NORML
Link to www.jbstillwater.com/estore
Link to Bottom Dog Press