Home from Hiatus

by Prescott Johanson

Wow, hello fellow heads, artists and gurus, I'm back better then ever, how are you? Your ole buddy Prescott is home from hiatus, vision blurry as ever but my thoughts are as clear as a bottle of rain Vodka, well, mixed with cranberry juice but anyway. In the months since we last spoke I've traversed the highs of ecstatic proportions and the lows of utter despair. Violence, bodily injury, travel, nudity, religion, drugs and debauchery are all words that describe the past few months of my existence. Listen up while I take you for a ride, huh, wait hold on, okay, okay well, I'm told that I cannot speak about any of the aforementioned events until the lawyers give the okay, or possibly until the book deal comes through. Damn, well since the editors of this great site are pressing me for some words of wisdom, I guess lets chat for a minute.

It's football season, my favorite time of the year. I know what you're thinking, that an artist, uh hum, such as myself should shun the horror of organized competition. Well, it may come as a surprise, but I'm no pussy, I think battles and competition are what makes us strong as people and strong as nations. People doing battle in organized sports are much less likely to join cults or pull Columbine esc shooting sprees, it just doesn't happen. I don't have the statistics, but I'm sure I'm on to something there. No seriously, I played football my whole life, it taught me all the important lessons such as teamwork, pushing yourself beyond limits, competition, learning to lose, and finally a sense of belonging. You know that shitty, last guy picked who had no athletic ability? Well, we loved him because he was busting his ass, he was a part of the team. Many of you reading this will disagree, but I think sports should be an important part of everyone's life. This world is way to dyslexic and evil to bring up a nation of folks that would rather play video games then get a little dirty and push themselves physically and emotionally. You ever get knocked on your butt by someone bigger and stronger and then get back up? It may be the most important lesson you ever learned. Okay enough of that, raise your kids how you must, as long as mine give something their best effort, I won't push them. I will put the ball in their hands though and have fun playing with them, and I may even knock them on their ass, ha ha, yes I'm terrible folks you act as if you haven't been reading.

What next, yes yes, the middle east is about to blow up in the flames of WWIII. Iran will get a nuke because they want one(anyone really not believe this, really?). Recently the president of Iran called for the destruction of Israel, but yet claims he wants a nuclear power plant strictly for energy purposes, huh. I do know and have dealt with people who are from that region of the world, great people, same as you and me. What is it about the Nation/state leaders, figureheads, dictators, Mullahs etc. that don't seem to understand that the Jewish people weren't brought to earth by aliens, yes folks they were there before, they didn't take anything from anyone, and they deserve a home. Now I will say I don't agree with some of their policies, but hey, I don't have to worry about my sister getting her head blown off by a suicide bomber, so who am I to judge. Lets all get along, I know the policies of the last 5 presidents have been shady and supportive of some of the worst leaders in the history of mankind, but lets forgive and forget eh. After all, you do have our complete energy future in your control. By the way what assholes we all are for letting that happen. I don't use facts as any of you that have read me before know, just pure bullshit. I do have a prediction though, and I can't take credit for it because supposedly it belongs to Nosterdamas, but Syria, Iran and the rest of the middle easterncountries that all hate us will join with China and attempt to give us the ass kicking to end all ass kickings. They will destroy Israel and head on to Western Europe but the good guys including India and Russia will join together and ultimately win. Sounds terrible right? Well, if you want to e-mail me with you derivative thoughts and personal insults don't, save it, I don't need it and you need not waste you breath because I don't care. I do wish for peace for all mankind, and think that all human beings are ultimately the same. We want purpose, gainful employment and to support and love our families. I respect that. It's the fanatics and oppressive leaders that run their country and their people into the ground (see Kim Jong) then blame America, like we tortured and put their people into slave camps ourselves, no we don't do things like that. Freedom, freedom, freedom. We may not be the model, but we try our bests, and I can say whatever the fuck I want and won't get tortured anytime soon. So love your country and your fellow countrymen. If you get the chance love all folks, we are truly all in this together and until we can get a world community that respects all peoples rights and thoughts, we may be in serious trouble. Okay Iran and Football, some serious, serious... who am I kidding, am I even here, who's typing all this gibberish. Pay no attention and move on with your daily lives.


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