I awake this morning with lots of material floating around in my vast, innate mind. There was some conflict several days ago about the saying "I'll try my Best". I realize that there is an old saying about "Trying your Best"...there is also a song by Bruce Springsteen "My Best is Never Good Enough".
As the humans we are, I feel we definitely believe in "commitment". We commit to jobs, to our kids, to paying bills, to friends, family, and many other things in life. We tend to be "yes" people, no matter the price we pay, many of us "string our selves" out by saying "yes" too many times, to too many tasks; thus when we cannot "make the cut" per se, we feel guilty, upset, anger, and disappointment. Sometimes we even cause those we tried to commit to "Our Best"; they feel a let down, disappointment, and possibly anger because we did not "hold up our end of the deal".
I believe in truth honesty, and not tried to lie my way through life. All of us at one time or the other; lie about something, whether it be a surprise for a family member, or possibly some upsetting news we prefer not to disclose at the moment, most of us have been in a position either to not tell the total truth, or just not tell at all. I see nothing wrong with that as long as it does not become a habitual situation.
I know those who do suffer an illness, they lie so much, they honestly believe their own lies, and never can tell the truth no matter what. I have seen them tell different people, different lies, until they are more confused than the people they have told.
Back to "conviction". In my innate wisdom, I have thought about what "conviction" means to me. At first "conviction" and "commitment" to me we're one in the same. Alas, they do mean different things. Conviction is more of a word used to say "certainty". You are putting your heart and soul into whatever you feel committed to. I was put in a place where someone told me by saying "I'll try my best", I was saying "I have commitment without conviction".
For years I committed unconditionally to everyone and every thing. When I say, "Yes!" I will do something, or even if I say, "Yes! I'll try my best!" to me I was giving a commitment to do the best possible that I have inside of me. Too many years later, too many disappointments later, I have learned I cannot totally "commit" unless inside I am positively sure I can complete the task or fulfill whatever had been asked of me. If I feel I have a doubt, then I do say, "I will do my best, but I will not say for sure I can"....
Responsibility, commitment, conviction; all are a huge part of our lives. I feel we tend to "over commit" at times; then we feel we have lied to that person. Moreover it is a set up for disaster, for now you feel guilt and you feel like you are not good enough, and possibly that person feels you let them down. It is a mind game...yet many of us do it or have done it for years. WE, as mere mortals just cannot say NO to whatever our friends, family and jobs ask of us for fear of "letting someone down". Mainly we fear letting down our own selves.
We as a whole tend to "dance" around the situation, stammering and stressing, not wanting to commit, yet afraid of saying "No, I feel I cannot do that at this time". That does not make us less than, stupid, incompetent, or not "committed". It means we know our selves well enough to know at that moment we may have too much on our plates, or circumstances just may not allow us to complete a task, so knowing when to say NO it a very mature and wise thing to understand about one self.
My commitment to many things, like my marriage, my family, my belief in our design company, are all commitments with conviction. I never try to second guess, but know in my heart, these people or things I will continue to support, give my all to, and be committed no matter what happens in life. It is being not in "harmony" all of the time, but more of being in "sync" with your spouse, your family, and your own self for that matter. "I'll try", "I hope", "I fear"...or all of those negative responses cause failure. If you believe in your marriage totally with a committed heart and soul, then you KNOW you shall always be together, no matter what happens, good or bad, or what life decides to through your way. It may not always be "harmonious" between you, but further down you find the reason you are with that person you love is because you remain deeply in "sync" with them.
Faith, Conviction, Commitment...first of all to one self...Second of all to those people and things you feel so strongly about heart, mind, body and soul.
copyright 2006, Ria SteeleSend us your comments on this article